Excuses . . . and golfers

It’s summer and it’s time for golf – if you have the ability to put up with constant failure.  There are only two types of people in this world: people who think golf is easy, and people who have played it.

When people play golf and play it poorly, at least there are a million reasons they can use as to why they played poorly.  It makes them feel a little better, but it doesn’t make them play any better.  Here are some really good excuses you golfers can add to your bag.  They come from GolfJokes.co.uk.  There is a lot of funny stuff over there.

Good Golf Excuses

  • A fly landed on my ball right when I hit it.
  • A squirrel picked up my ball and put it in the bunker.
  • After that last shot, I’m just too embarrassed to try and hit the ball.
  • All the golf schools I liked were too expensive – so I self-taught.
  • Before the sex change, I was allowed to hit from the red tee. Its just too difficult to score now.
  • Bermuda grass sucks. My club keeps getting stuck.
  • Damn it, have you no etiquette? Please quit breathing when I swing.
  • Didn’t you hear that sound in the woods during my swing? It sounded like a duck.
  • Ever since I made a hole-in-one, I can’t concentrate.
  • From three hundred yards out it looks like the green sloped away. I should have laid up.
  • Hackers tore up the green. I can’t play competitively under these circumstances.
  • I always get kicked off the course for being intoxicated. This is the first round I’ve finished.

Try some of these the next time you make a horrible shot or have a horrible day on the green.  At least everybody might get a chuckle out of it.