Have you ever thought about trying to break a world record?  The Guinness Book is full of all kinds of them you can shoot for.  This website I found, I’m not sure if all of these world records we’re going to look at are Guinness verified, but at least one of them is, so I’m guessing they probably all are.

And if they’re not, who cares, because this is some pretty crazy stuff.  The website is Urbantitan.com, and the article is 10 Most Stupidest World Records.  You can go there and read more than what I’m going to write here, because I’m feeling motivated to go break some records of my own now.

In order, starting with #1.

1. Most people being massaged

At Lavandula Lavender Farms in Australia, 263 massage therapists massaged 263 people for 12 minutes.  It was a tourism marketing stunt but it got all those people some recognition.

2. Loudest burp

Paul Hunn of the U.K. recorded a burp in 2008 that they recorded at 107.1 decibels.  Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought 100 plus decibels was like the level of rock concerts.  If that’s right, I’d love to see the show just so I could tell my grandkids about it.

3. Longest ear hair

There are some weird people out there.  Anthony Victor from India got the world record for ear hair with hair coming out of his ears that measured 7.12 inches long.  Wait till you see the picture.

4. Most Ferrero Rocher chocolates eaten in a minute

Jim Lyngvild from Copenhagen, Denmark, ate seven of these chocolates in one minute.  They’re not that big, but seven in a minute means one every 8.5 seconds.  I’m not sure if this matters.  I’m not sure I even care if it matters.

5. Most cockroaches eaten in a minute

Okay, this guy is a lot weirder than Jim from Denmark.  Ken Edwards, who lives in England, ate 36 cockroaches in one minute.  Some people I just don’t understand.

6. Largest mobile phone

It’s a Cricket phone and it measures 4.57 x 3.42 x .74 meters (obviously this article was written by someone in Europe, so I’ll let you do the translation to feet and inches, but this thing is BIG).  It’s bigger than a human being.  I wonder if the phone bill is normal (big) sized.

7. Rolling orange with nose

It makes you wonder who comes up with this stuff.  Ashrita Furman is the official Guinness world record holder for the dummy who rolled an orange with his nose at the JFK Airport in N.Y. for almost a mile and did it in 29 minutes.  Wow.  If this was my world record, I’d ask Guinness if I could be listed with a fake name.

8. Wearing the most t-shirts

Luke Baker looks like an astronaut in his photo on the website.  The blurb says his record is for wearing 20 t-shirts in a minute, which makes no sense.  Does that mean it took him that long to put on 20 t-shirts?  In the photo it looks like he’s got about 50 t-shirts on, so who knows.

9. Most tattooed person

A guy named Lucky Diamond Rich (surely on his birth certificate right?) has been undergoing tattoos for more than a thousand hours.  He’s got tattoos on his eyelids, gums, the skin between his toes and inside part of his ears.  I guess it’s called making a personal statement.

10. Tallest rideable motorcycle

Gregory Dunham from California built a motorcycle that is 11 feet tall at the seat.  The handlebars are 20 feet from the ground.  Each tire is 74 inches tall.  It’s using a V8 engine to power it.  It’s hard to believe it’s street legal, but this is California we’re talking about, so it’s very possible.

So there are some diversions for you before you get back to the normal business of living like a normal person.  If anybody reading this has a world record in his or her name, send us an e-mail.  We’ll talk about it here.

Cockroaches.  Burping.  The world was a lot simpler 20 years ago.

Nick & Ellie